A Letter to my Biological Mother

You say I don’t know how the world works,

That everything I believe is a lie,

Depression is not real,

Anxiety is just a lack of faith,

But, mom, I know.

The world is cruel.

Depression is a flesh-eating monster,

Anxiety is a never-ending waterfall,

Mom, I know.

You don’t know.

The world cuts you into shreds,

Depression is wanting to sleep for eternity,

Anxiety is the nightmares that will never let you sleep,

Mom, you choose not to see.

Mom, if you knew the horrors I face,

The daytime night terrors,

The pain the world has brought,

You would know that depression is real.

Mom, you choose not to see.

You choose to not see the horrors of the man you married,

You choose to not see the hatred of the world,

You choose to not see the terrors I see,

Mom, choose to see.

If you saw into the torture I face,

The memories that are unspeakable,

You would understand my battered soul.

Mom, choose to see.

Face the memories with me,

See the torture of my soul,

Comfort me in my pain,

Mom, choose to see!

One day you will see,

You will be horrified,

You will be blindsided,

You will have the haunting memories,

Mom, choose to see.

Before it’s too late.